My Wife and Kids

In the series pilot, Michael is upset. Why? Because Janet wants to work full-time, because Jr. admires gangsta rap and because Claire wants to go to school in a tank top. Making matters worse, younger daughter Kady keeps yammering at him in Spanish---thanks to Rosa the nanny, who, he's convinced, can't stand him.

Michael is ready to pound Jr. because he suspects his son has gotten a tattoo. But Jr. won't own up to it (he won't take off his shirt, either). Meanwhile, Kady's mad at Michael because he won't let her go on a sleepover.

Jr. and his friend Tommy want to write songs but can't find their muse. Their solution: something they smoke. Meanwhile, Claire doesn't have time for Kady; and Jay wants to get rid of Michael's old "stuff" in their closet.

It's "Jr. time" when Michael goes one-on-one with his son on the basketball court. Then sore loser Michael must take Claire on a shopping expedition to buy underwear. Needless to say, she's excruciatingly embarrassed.

Jr.'s F in algebra becomes an A through the magic of forgery. But it doesn't fool his parents, who decide to "toy" with him. Making matters worse: Jr. told Claire and blackmail ensues.

With Jr. in danger of failing algebra, Michael comes up with a unique plan to help him pass; and Jay has mother-daughter relationship problems with Claire, who is turning into "little Miss Attitude."

Jr. is being teased by a new neighbor, a boy who is much bigger than he is. But the bully is no match for Claire. Meanwhile, Michael and Jay are once again sparring over Jay's working. "You're Wonder Woman," he tells her, "because every time I come home I'm wondering, 'where's my woman?'."

It seems as though Michael and Jay are speaking Chinese---they simply aren't paying attention to each other one Saturday. It all begins because she wants him to take part in family activities and he wants to watch basketball. So he tunes her out when she asks him to do something. Of course he doesn't know what it is.

Claire has her first crush, and when the boy comes over, he can't take her eyes off her...father's video game. Meanwhile, Jr. injures a delicate part of his anatomy.

Michael's single brother Ken shows up for dinner with his 21-year-old girlfriend, Tiara, sparking Michael's fears that his marriage (or at least his sex life) has lost its spark. Meanwhile, Claire's getting her hopes up (a bit too much) about an upcoming dance contest.

Michael's accountant (radio personality Doug Banks) dies suddenly, prompting Michael to vow "to live life to its fullest." His definition of "fullest" includes hugging Jay and the kids incessantly, wearing a wig, and deciding to sell his business and live in an RV. And he's driving his family crazy.